Clear out the clutter, make space within yourself

Photo by Sarah Brown on Unsplash

You know those jobs that seem to hang around forever on your to-do list? I plan to try & tackle one today - I plan to clear out old clothes that my kids have got too big for. Getting round to actually doing it will probably take a bit of determination on my part because the thought of it brings up a ton of resistance in me!!
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Ever noticed how easy it is to put things off when they don't excite us?!

I have been putting this task off for ....I want to say weeks but truthfully it must be months. I offered to pass some of my daughter's old clothes to my next door neighbour for their little girl months ago. I still haven't got round to it because I dread the sorting out that will be involved!!

When it comes to the tasks we never get around to, there are usually a combination of obvious reasons, and less obvious reasons as to why we keep procrastinating. Most of the time we don't get around to consciously thinking through what any of those reasons are - we just make our excuses and move onto doing something else we prefer!

Do you ever stop to think through the actual truth of why you're not getting that task done?

Here's my truthful list of why I realise I've not prioritised sorting out & clearing out the clothes sooner:

• Obvious reason: after months & months of dumping the 'too small' clothes into the allocated space, we now just have a massive off-putting heap! It means that to be able to sort the clothes, I first have to make space to even be able to 'unheap'. There is often barely any space in the room that the clothes are piled up in (it's a dumping ground for everything we need to sort through!!). I guess my brain doesn't get any further than 'there's not enough space to do that - I don't have time or energy to start thinking about how to make the space...so lets just move on & do something else!'.  Arrgh!!

 

• Obvious reason: once the clothes are actually sorted I then have to set about moving them on! Again, my brain unhelpfully glosses over this with 'I just don't have time to sort them out and make the trip out to get rid of them - so there's no point in doing it today!'

 

• Obvious reason: it's not fun. Yes doing it will be rewarding & will feel great once it's done - but the actual process? NOT fun!! If I have a choice between doing something I perceive as more enjoyable, like a watching a tv programme, browsing the internet or eating chocolate...then sorting through piles of old clothes will always lose out because it is one of the least fun things to do I can think of!

 

• Less obvious reason & perhaps the most important: it's painful. Once I start opening up those bags of little clothes & lifting out each item to decide which can go to my neighbour & which will be donated elsewhere...I realise that the little version of my child that once wore those clothes no longer exists, and that can feel very emotional. It's easiest sometimes to just avoid 'emotional' isn't it? I love & adore the newer older children I now have with all my heart! However there's something devastating about having to release this little part of them for good. There's an urge to hold on to the clothes as if they somehow help me hold a direct and tangible link to the past. The clothes have sat in a pile so long now, I know that opening them up will remind me that it feels like forever ago that they were being worn on a daily basis, and it will also rather strangely only feel like yesterday. When I pull out a little baby grow that I vividly remember buttoning my son into at bedtime ...or a little pair of leggings my daughter used to wear that were 'my favourite', I realise I'm also releasing a part of myself. I will never again have children as small as they were when they wore those clothes. I guess it's a kind of grieving process. It feels like it takes a bit of courage to decide to put yourself through it. 

Here's the thing. If there is an emotional reason as to why you are putting something off, then that's probably the clue that it should be prioritised.

It means that that 'thing' is holding space somewhere within you, and it could do with being released.

You may not consciously be aware of this, but it's there. If it's something that brings up negative feelings of sadness, hurt, anger, frustration....etc as soon as you start to deal with it, then by not facing up to it you will continue to subconsciously keep experiencing those negative feelings. Every now and then they may bubble up to the surface - the conscious level - when you don't want them to.

The key is to let those emotions come up, and just be with them, - just experience them -  as hard as that may be. Once you've experienced them, chances are they won't take up that space inside you or have that negative hold on you anymore. 

When I sort through my kiddies clothes I feel confident I will shed a few tears as the negative feelings bubble up & compete with my happy memories. It will feel like I'm saying goodbye and I don't really want to do that. I'm ok with the crying as long as I feel in the right mood & therefore prepared to handle it! I'll allow myself to experience the sadness for a few moments then I'll remind myself that I am only releasing the clothes & the sad feelings attached to letting them go- nothing else.

I will then quickly move into feeling gratitude for my children and for the fact that I get to experience the joy (& sometimes frustration!) of watching them grow and that's a fabulous thing that I hugely appreciate! I will look forward to giving my kids massive cuddles when they get home from nursery, and I'll pause to remind myself that tomorrow they'll be older than they are today so all I can do is appreciate & enjoy every moment as it happens!

It might sound ridiculous, but I'm also going to thank the little clothes & tell them I love them before I clear them out. Doing that helps me let go of the sadness. You know that expression 'when you love someone you set them free'? Well what about when you love something you set it free? By giving the clothes my thanks & my love, I will be releasing pain around the thoughts & memories that my kids will never be small again and I will never be mum to 'babies' again.

When I release that pain I create space within myself for something new & positive. I allow myself to move on & embrace the next stage! I know I'll feel lighter! 

So my thought for today is - where are you not facing up to doing something? What's the emotion behind it that you could do with releasing? 

Here's an action for you: write up your to-do list & then, for the things that you know you have been putting off, make another list of why that is. What exactly is it that is stopping you? Get clear about it.

Can you be brave & decide to face up to the task that brings up the most resistance in you? If you can bring your love & gratitude into the process it will all feel a lot easier. 

Finding a moment to pause and list out reasons 'why' we are resisting something is actually a fabulous exercise to do around the subject of money - so why not try the above with a money block in mind? E.g. 'why am I resisting putting my prices up?' or ' why am I finding it so hard to advertise my new product / service?'.  Write down everything that comes up for you when you try to answer the question!

There are loads more money clutter clearing exercises in my free 'Identify & release your money blocks' workbook PDF  - find the link to download it on my website home page!

With love,

Nikki

Ps, my 6 month Heart & Soul Money Glow private coaching package is a beautiful way to declutter negative thinking & get crystal clear on exactly how your unique brilliance is the key to your success in business. When you feel aligned with your true self & purpose, you become unstoppable! It happens with grace & ease when you enter into this coaching package! Not only that, our coaching sessions are every 2 weeks so that you never get the chance to lose momentum the way so many of us often do when we try to go it alone! Your dream business, & dream life are waiting for you!

Email me at [email protected] for more info, or use the buttons on my website to book a discovery call with me. I look forward to hearing from you! x