In my last blog post I spoke about getting out of indecisive energy. This week I want to talk about priorities, and how to ensure you focus your valuable time & energy where it needs to be!


What do you prioritise in daily life, and is it in line with what you want?


What we end up prioritising is key to the life & experiences we end up creating for ourselves. It sounds simple but it's powerful when you stop & think about it!


For example - I can't play the piano, but if i prioritised learning to play every day. there's a strong chance I'd quickly improve my skills until I reached a good level of competence! Whereas If I never prioritise learning it, then of course, I'm not going to get any better than my current skill level (which is non-existent!).


As another example - if I want to make more money, then I need to prioritise taking actions that are more likely to bring me money such as advertising my business, having conversations with people who may become customers, selling things I no longer need...etc. By prioritising these things there's a strong chance I'm going to increase my money flow. Again, if I don't prioritise actions that help me make money, it makes it a lot less likely that I will gain any extra cash! ​

I wonder how far along you are in achieving that thing you dream about?

​You know the thing that lights a spark in you, like a little jolt of excitement whenever you think about it? Maybe that thing is increasing your income, or being free to take a holiday whenever you want for as long as you want, maybe it's moving to be bigger home or maybe it's working less hours for more money?

Whatever it is, are you somewhere on the path to achieving it or is it currently just feeling like some fantasy concept that will never become your reality? If it's the latter then I'd like to help!

I wanted to share something with you that has genuinely helped me start shifting out of daydreaming and into actual action towards achieving my goals.

I'll get straight to it!:
Get rid of indecisive energy
Indecisive energy can also be thought of as 'overwhelm'. It happens when you have so much going on in your life, that trying to take on anything new or different can just feel like overload.
You often end up stuck in limbo wanting to do something but not actually doing it because there's never enough time / energy / brain space to allow you to feel fully ready or able to commit to it. The decision - whatever decision is in front of you at the time - feels too hard to make so you never make it.
With indecisive energy, even decisions or actions that should feel exciting can weigh heavily on you. This is because, when already overwhelmed, you experience anything new as just more pressure on your already limited time & energy.
It's yet another thing for you to never quite get around to doing or completing which inevitably causes you some kind of feeling of guilt or frustration. You chide yourself for another opportunity missed. You might even find yourself avoiding trying new things or meeting new people because you instinctively sense that it could end up causing you more overwhelm.


All of this results in you staying exactly the same. When it comes to money - that means you can stagnate financially. Maybe it means you never look at your finances or take any real steps to improving them. Maybe it means you never look for a new job even though you know it's time. Maybe it's that you never allow yourself to try out a new idea that could seriously benefit you.
Everything just goes round and round in a cycle of "I'm not happy...life feels chaotic and busy.... I want to change it...changing it feels too hard & uncomfortable...I'll go back to doing what I was before... I'm not happy...."


So how do you get out of this cycle of overwhelm creating more overwhelm? And indecisiveness creating more indecisiveness?


The trick is to start making some decisions. It is the only way to make progress.


You literally have to CHOOSE your way forwards. The 10 prompts below are perfect ways to start clearing out the mental clutter that contributes to you feeling overwhelmed & indecisive. Start by just working through them - & actually actioning them wherever possible, then see how much better you feel afterwards.


10 ways you can clear your in-between energy:
1. If you've got multiple tabs open in your internet browser - close them. (You can always bookmark pages you don't want to loose)
2. If you have things waiting in online shopping baskets, or if you're watching things on eBay, decide to buy, delete or 'unwatch' them
3. Unsubscribe from magazines and other subscriptions you never have time to read or make use of (beauty boxes, software, online services, apps, tv subscriptions...etc)
4. Unsubscribe from emails that you never have time to read - use the 'block' feature in your inbox if they somehow keep getting through!
5. 'Unfollow' people on social media that are no longer relevant to you so that you stop receiving distracting updates from them
6. Delete any unfinished draft emails sitting in your email account - or finish & send them
7. If something keeps going round & round on your to-do list either do it, erase it or ask someone else to do it.
8. Have you got unclear commitments in your diary? Either commit and book them in or delete them & send apologies
9. Write the text, email or letter that you've been meaning to send your friend or loved one, and get it sent to them today
10. Declutter - donate or sell all those things around your home that you could happily do without


I know that once I'd completed the steps above I immediately felt lighter. The more I released all the 'I might...', 'Maybe I should...' & 'If I just...' energy surrounding the above distractions, the lighter & more spacious my head felt!


It's like practising your decision making skills in subtle easy ways that then empower you to move on & make bigger decisions.


Within days of doing the above clearing out, I arrived at a decision for my business that I'd been trying to make for months. No coincidence!


Give it a try and see what happens!


As a Money Breakthrough Coach I'm here to shift those feelings of being stuck, confused or overwhelmed so that you can instead experience powerful, energising clarity that will get you effortlessly on the path towards your goals & dreams. My coaching packages are designed to get you from where you are now, into the money freedom I know you'd love to have, in a way that will feels fun & exciting for you! Take a look a my website www.fireflyheartcoaching.com or email me if you'd like to learn more! ​

With love

Nikki x

You know those jobs that seem to hang around forever on your to-do list? I plan to try & tackle one today - I plan to clear out old clothes that my kids have got too big for. Getting round to actually doing it will probably take a bit of determination on my part because the thought of it brings up a ton of resistance in me!!
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Ever noticed how easy it is to put things off when they don't excite us?!

I have been putting this task off for ....I want to say weeks but truthfully it must be months. I offered to pass some of my daughter's old clothes to my next door neighbour for their little girl months ago. I still haven't got round to it because I dread the sorting out that will be involved!!

When it comes to the tasks we never get around to, there are usually a combination of obvious reasons, and less obvious reasons as to why we keep procrastinating. Most of the time we don't get around to consciously thinking through what any of those reasons are - we just make our excuses and move onto doing something else we prefer!

Do you ever stop to think through the actual truth of why you're not getting that task done?

Here's my truthful list of why I realise I've not prioritised sorting out & clearing out the clothes sooner:

• Obvious reason: after months & months of dumping the 'too small' clothes into the allocated space, we now just have a massive off-putting heap! It means that to be able to sort the clothes, I first have to make space to even be able to 'unheap'. There is often barely any space in the room that the clothes are piled up in (it's a dumping ground for everything we need to sort through!!). I guess my brain doesn't get any further than 'there's not enough space to do that - I don't have time or energy to start thinking about how to make the space...so lets just move on & do something else!'.  Arrgh!!

 

• Obvious reason: once the clothes are actually sorted I then have to set about moving them on! Again, my brain unhelpfully glosses over this with 'I just don't have time to sort them out and make the trip out to get rid of them - so there's no point in doing it today!'

 

• Obvious reason: it's not fun. Yes doing it will be rewarding & will feel great once it's done - but the actual process? NOT fun!! If I have a choice between doing something I perceive as more enjoyable, like a watching a tv programme, browsing the internet or eating chocolate...then sorting through piles of old clothes will always lose out because it is one of the least fun things to do I can think of!

 

• Less obvious reason & perhaps the most important: it's painful. Once I start opening up those bags of little clothes & lifting out each item to decide which can go to my neighbour & which will be donated elsewhere...I realise that the little version of my child that once wore those clothes no longer exists, and that can feel very emotional. It's easiest sometimes to just avoid 'emotional' isn't it? I love & adore the newer older children I now have with all my heart! However there's something devastating about having to release this little part of them for good. There's an urge to hold on to the clothes as if they somehow help me hold a direct and tangible link to the past. The clothes have sat in a pile so long now, I know that opening them up will remind me that it feels like forever ago that they were being worn on a daily basis, and it will also rather strangely only feel like yesterday. When I pull out a little baby grow that I vividly remember buttoning my son into at bedtime ...or a little pair of leggings my daughter used to wear that were 'my favourite', I realise I'm also releasing a part of myself. I will never again have children as small as they were when they wore those clothes. I guess it's a kind of grieving process. It feels like it takes a bit of courage to decide to put yourself through it. 

Here's the thing. If there is an emotional reason as to why you are putting something off, then that's probably the clue that it should be prioritised.

It means that that 'thing' is holding space somewhere within you, and it could do with being released.

You may not consciously be aware of this, but it's there. If it's something that brings up negative feelings of sadness, hurt, anger, frustration....etc as soon as you start to deal with it, then by not facing up to it you will continue to subconsciously keep experiencing those negative feelings. Every now and then they may bubble up to the surface - the conscious level - when you don't want them to.

The key is to let those emotions come up, and just be with them, - just experience them -  as hard as that may be. Once you've experienced them, chances are they won't take up that space inside you or have that negative hold on you anymore. 

When I sort through my kiddies clothes I feel confident I will shed a few tears as the negative feelings bubble up & compete with my happy memories. It will feel like I'm saying goodbye and I don't really want to do that. I'm ok with the crying as long as I feel in the right mood & therefore prepared to handle it! I'll allow myself to experience the sadness for a few moments then I'll remind myself that I am only releasing the clothes & the sad feelings attached to letting them go- nothing else.

I will then quickly move into feeling gratitude for my children and for the fact that I get to experience the joy (& sometimes frustration!) of watching them grow and that's a fabulous thing that I hugely appreciate! I will look forward to giving my kids massive cuddles when they get home from nursery, and I'll pause to remind myself that tomorrow they'll be older than they are today so all I can do is appreciate & enjoy every moment as it happens!

It might sound ridiculous, but I'm also going to thank the little clothes & tell them I love them before I clear them out. Doing that helps me let go of the sadness. You know that expression 'when you love someone you set them free'? Well what about when you love something you set it free? By giving the clothes my thanks & my love, I will be releasing pain around the thoughts & memories that my kids will never be small again and I will never be mum to 'babies' again.

When I release that pain I create space within myself for something new & positive. I allow myself to move on & embrace the next stage! I know I'll feel lighter! 

So my thought for today is - where are you not facing up to doing something? What's the emotion behind it that you could do with releasing? 

Here's an action for you: write up your to-do list & then, for the things that you know you have been putting off, make another list of why that is. What exactly is it that is stopping you? Get clear about it.

Can you be brave & decide to face up to the task that brings up the most resistance in you? If you can bring your love & gratitude into the process it will all feel a lot easier. 

Finding a moment to pause and list out reasons 'why' we are resisting something is actually a fabulous exercise to do around the subject of money - so why not try the above with a money block in mind? E.g. 'why am I resisting putting my prices up?' or ' why am I finding it so hard to advertise my new product / service?'.  Write down everything that comes up for you when you try to answer the question!

There are loads more money clutter clearing exercises in my free 'Identify & release your money blocks' workbook PDF  - find the link to download it on my website home page!

With love,

Ps, my 6 month Heart & Soul Money Glow private coaching package is a beautiful way to declutter negative thinking & get crystal clear on exactly how your unique brilliance is the key to your success in business. When you feel aligned with your true self & purpose, you become unstoppable! It happens with grace & ease when you enter into this coaching package! Not only that, our coaching sessions are every 2 weeks so that you never get the chance to lose momentum the way so many of us often do when we try to go it alone! Your dream business, & dream life are waiting for you!

Email me at [email protected] for more info, or use the buttons on my website to book a discovery call with me. I look forward to hearing from you! x

For years I felt incredibly uncomfortable whenever the subject of savings came up.

I had debt and felt so far away from the possibility of ever having anything saved!

Being told I should have spare money put aside was like being told I should achieve the impossible!!

What feelings does the word 'savings' bring up for you? I guess for some it may raise a smile and a fabulous feeling of security, excitement or possibility!

For others - hmm not so much!

For me, I rather unfortunately associated it with the following:

• hardship - a sense that to have savings I would have to go without something else I wanted
• boredom - the feeling of having to forfeit something fun to do in place of saving some money - how dull!
• failure - I knew it was the thing I should have. So to have the opposite- debt - for me felt very much like an epic failure on my part
• shame - the feeling of being embarrassed that I must have done something stupid (or worse - that maybe I'm stupid) to have got it so wrong and have debt in life instead of savings
• envy - the feeling that someone with a savings account (and money in it) was somehow a better person than me

So you can imagine that when I heard the 's' word, with all of the above unpleasant feelings attached, I never wanted to spend any time dwelling on it. I felt much happier avoiding it altogether. It was taboo and I'd find myself getting defensive or cagey if the subject ever came up.

So - what's wrong with just carrying on avoiding it?
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If you're currently not facing up to the whole savings issue, like I was, and you want to be wealthy then you need to pay attention here! 

Someone who is not comfortable with having savings is someone who is not comfortable with having excess.

That means, that regardless of whether you earn £5000 or £5 million a year, you will find a way to spend or get rid of any excess money. You will simply increase your outgoings to match whatever comes in.

The action someone can take to 'release' themselves from the 'burden' of excess money can range from subtle to extreme!

Here's some examples:

• gift giving - relentlessly
• charity donations
• 'I deserve it!' mentality - e.g. regular shopping trips full of treats that you want but don't really need!
• loving the luxuries - e.g. always having to have the best house, latest car, phone, handbag, watch...etc. Whichever part of the scale you are on in terms of income, you'll find something to 'get rid' of your money on!
• travel 
• excessive sale shopping! Hiding the fact that lots of money is being spent, by focusing on the fact that a good deal or a bargain was found!

Not having savings can put you in a precarious situation.

It can take away your financial power because you have no spare resources for dealing with the unexpected things that crop up in life like a home or car repair bill.

It also means you may never have spare money for some of those bigger things you would love in life, such as holidays, retraining yourself, starting your own business...etc. Having to spend out on any of these things, when you have no savings, could easily put your bank account in the red.

It's pretty disempowering to always be on the back foot with money like that.


I want to be clear on this- I'm not saying there's anything wrong with spending money & enjoying life! After all, what is the point in having money if you're not enjoying yourself!?


What we're talking about here is the issue of being uncomfortable with having a buffer.

It points to something going on with you - in you - that could really do with being resolved. Something is blocked in your beliefs, thoughts and feelings about having money, and that's never a positive. 'Blocked' doesn't go with 'abundance'.

Don't forget - how we do money is how we do everything, so if you're blocked around savings, you may well be blocked in other aspects of your life too.

Dig deep - why is having spare money a problem? Did your family have spare money growing up? What did it mean to have spare money or to not have spare money? What were you taught about money when you were growing up? Do you feel quilty about having too much money?

If you'd like to start healing on this issue, I've got a suggestion, and it's the exact same way I began resolving my own block on having savings:

Start a small savings account and set up a monthly transfer to it, as soon as you're able to. The amount you transfer in is totally up to you. It can be a really small amount like £2 or £5, it doesn't matter. What matters is the shift in your mindset and energy - that it's ok to have spare. After you've got it set up, every now and then try to increase the amount you put away each month!

Note down the feelings that come up during the process for you. Are they like the ones I listed for myself above? Or are they different for you? Use my questions above about your experiences of money in your younger years to uncover your feelings and where they come from.

Then ask yourself this - what do I need to let go of today, to start feeling comfortable with having excess?


Money blocks are pretty much the number one reason why women who should be wealthy, aren't. 'Blocks' are those negative subconscious beliefs that stop you from getting the things you consciously want .

I'd love to help you move past those blocks, & get you on track to the fabulous life you truly deserve! . As a Money Breakthrough Coach for Women in Business I have a fabulous system for moving you past old negative beliefs and doubt, and into a mindset where you feel unstoppable!  In addition to that I can work with you to create unique and clear heart & soul branding for your business to set you apart from the crowd, how to charge what you're worth & get it...and so much more! 

Click here to take a look at my amazing 6 month private coaching package 'Heart & Soul Money Glow for Women Entrepreneurs'!

If you'd like to have a chat with me to find out more, please use the button below to book a discovery call!

I'd love to hear from you!

With love,

I am, & always have been a rather shy introverted person. The moment I realised I was going to have to get comfortable with posting videos of myself on social media to grow my coaching business, was probably the same moment I developed a massive block on the subject! 

The blockage went on for months and I frustrated myself endlessly with constant heel dragging and excuses as to why I was never ready to do it.

It seemed like every woman and her cat were out there happily posting videos, and I just couldn’t figure out why I was finding it so hard! I felt like such a failure and like the online business world just wasn’t for me.

It felt like it caused me brain ache & fatigue every time I tried to think about how to create a video and post it. It also seemed like my confusion and ‘stuckness’ about the subject permeated everything else I tried to do in my business. I found it hard to write any new content, I struggled to feel confident before a coaching session because my head felt foggy. 

I seriously believe that my block on being visible was causing me blocks everywhere in life.  It was all a bit miserable.

However, I have great news - I’m not stuck anymore!

Very recently, I confidently and happily posted my first video on facebook!

Now, here I am feeling relieved & creatively free, cracking on with my website blog in a way that I’ve dreamt of doing for months!

So how did I get to this point, after being so incredibly blocked?!

I’ve listed some of the key moments below that happened to help me turn it around, but before I get to that -  if any of this resonates with you and you think you might be stuck on something too, start by dealing with the first 3 key points below:


Acknowledge that you are actually stuck!  If you are putting something off that deep down know you need to face up to doing..but you’re struggling to make any progression...then acknowledge that that is you being a bit stuck! Maybe you’ve not even realised it until now!

Here’s some signs you’ve got a bit of 'stuckness' on something:  

• You feel uncomfortable when the subject of the ‘stuck thing’ comes up. It might make you feel defensive due to a feeling of guilt that you’ve not sorted it out yet, or it could cause a foggy fatigued feeling because you’re struggling to figure out a way through it, or maybe it will just make you feel defeated which in turn can give you an unpleasant sense of failing.  There will definitely be some sort of negative emotions hanging around the thing you feel stuck about.

 

• When you try and get on with tackling the thing you’re stuck on, you find yourself getting easily distracted and wandering off to do something else, so you never really progress past ‘square one’ in sorting it out (despite feeling like you have tried!)

 

• You make endless excuses about it - e.g.  “I can’t do it right now because I need more money”, “I can’t start that until I’ve had more training” or “I can’t until Jupiter is in alignment with mars (!) ” ...just an endless array of negative ‘I can’t because…’ statements, that are actually just an attempt to cover over the fact that you just simply haven’t done it yet!

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Find out why. Find a quiet moment when you can sit down with pen and paper, and ask yourself why you are stalling. Leave the excuses out of it and just be honest with yourself.

There might be one reason, or there might be multiple reasons - note down anything that comes up for you! Actually writing it all down can really help you just find some much needed clarity, without that it’s extremely hard to make any progress!  


Consider if your 'stuckness' is actually because you’re trying to do something that isn’t right for you. With my blockage around doing videos, I knew I had to get over it because... I love coaching! Putting videos out there is one of the best ways to get new clients to decide they want to work with you (especially during a pandemic lockdown where we can’t meet in person) so it felt like a bit of a no-brainer.

My desire to succeed in coaching far outweighed my fear of doing a video, so I knew I had to persevere and find a way to push through it. 

If you are stuck on something that you don’t want, or don’t care much about - ask yourself if it’s really absolutely necessary that you do the thing in the first place.

Or, if the situation really is unavoidable, can you see another way to resolve it that doesn’t cause you to feel stuck?



So what about the process I went through to 'unstick' around my fear of being visible in a video?


I've listed the 6 key areas that helped me move forwards below.  These did not necessarily all neatly flow in the below order - it was more a case of everything coming together at once, the below were the critical elements though.

1) I eventually realised I had to do it my own unique way. You’d think this would be a given, because by being me, surely I can only produce things in my own unique way...but no! Turns out I was trying to do what I thought I saw others doing, and that meant I missed out on just bringing my own natural style. I felt awkward and it just didn’t flow for me. Due to that the videos I tried doing were ok, but I never felt happy enough to actually post them on social media. The first major breakthrough was realising that the real issue was figuring out how to be me on camera - not me trying to remember how someone else might do it! 

The second breakthrough was actually figuring out what ‘being me’ in a video actually meant! I had to give some thought to how I am in real life. If someone was in the room with me instead of that video camera, then I realised I would never feel comfortable pretending I’m ok when I’m not. In real life, if I feel uncomfortable I admit to it! 

That quickly led to the idea that my first video needed to go back to basics and actually just be about me talking about my struggle with producing a video! As soon as I hit on that idea, the whole process just flowed so easily and before I knew it, I was happily hitting ‘post’ on my first ever social media video for my business!


2) I dedicated time to working out the technical stuff like the equipment I was going to use, and didn't give up until I had a solution that worked.  I got a lot quicker at this once I had resolved point 1, because as soon as I felt confident on what the content of my video would be, I felt excited and motivated to get the technical stuff right so I could just get on with it!  ​


3) I studied my idols to see how they did videos and copied some of their techniques! This point obviously works in combination with point 1 - watch and see how the people you like watching are doing it, then find a way to bring your own unique twist to that!


4) I gave up on the pursuit of perfection.  If you want & need to get past a block, then you might have to aim for ‘good enough’ instead of ‘perfect’. Seeking perfection is something we often do when we are lacking confidence and potentially doubting our own worth. It’s just another form of procrastination. 

Are you setting standards that - if you’re honest with yourself - you’re going to seriously struggle to ever achieve? Wouldn’t you feel happier if you just got the ‘stuck thing’ done to a ‘very good’ level - instead of a perfect one? Surely not having it hanging over you as a big-grey-not-done-that-yet-cloud, combined with an amazing sense of achievement once it’s actually completed is an exciting thing to aim for, simply because it’s attainable! 

I felt that I achieved a kind of perfection when I made the decision to post an imperfect video out into the world - because any kind of perfection for me, needs to involve me actually progressing in my business! Could just actually getting the thing done become part of your view of it being ‘perfect’?


5) I stayed accountable to my coach! I don’t say this to create some cheesy link to then ask you to sign me up as your coach (that comes later….haaaa!) it really is just true that my coach, Joy, set a date by when I would have a video posted out there.

Having a challenge with a deadline set like that, where you have to report back to someone you respect, can have a major effect on your chance of actually getting something done.

Don’t underestimate accountability - sometimes it is the only driving force that will get you past your own blocks   


6) The universe had my back!  I quite literally pulled this card twice in a row from my ‘The universe has your back’ cards by Gabrielle Bernstein on two different days in the build up to doing my ‘unstuck’ video which felt like a fab sign to go ahead!

I love tuning into signs that I’m on the right track. It can be anything from white feathers, to angel numbers or number plates on cars that you suddenly spot!

Look for signs in your life that there is love and support around you, ready for you to take your next step


If you are feeling stuck in your business and you just don’t know how to shift into a different gear to get through it, why not book in a discovery call with me! Money breakthrough coaching is all about getting free of old beliefs that hold us back. The focus is on moving our business and ourselves forward in life and ultimately making more money and creating more freedom to spend time doing the things we love! That dream life really can be yours!

Book a discovery call using the button below, or email me at [email protected]

​I can't wait to hear from you!

With love,